A Proposal to Protect our Citizens
By Mark Steiner
In the wake of the
tragedy at Sandy Hook, it is clear our country
needs change. Too many times, armed intruders have walked into our schools and
places of business unopposed and proceeded to murder so many of our fellow
citizens. How many times will we as a nation allow this to happen? How many
more students, teacher, parents and siblings need to be martyred before we
enact change? I say the time for change is now. The solution is simple. The
only way to keep our people, especially our children, safe, is to arm every
teacher, shopkeeper, sanitation worker and crossing guard around us. That way,
whenever the need arises, a loosely trained defender will be nearby. In order
to keep our society safe from gun violence, we must put guns in the hands of
those we trust most: government workers.
Let
us dissect the problem. It is certainly impossible to keep guns away from those
who shouldn’t have them. Yes, other nations don’t see nearly as much gun
related violence as we do, but that’s because they have fascist laws that
infringe on the unalienable right of every man, woman and child to carry around
deadly weaponry. In America,
the greatest, most infallible country on earth, we recognize that anyone who
wants to be able to spit hot lead at a rate of 850 rounds per minute has the
right to. (Anyone who says otherwise is a left wing baby-killer.) But every
right can be abused. It happens all too often. This summer, In Aurora,
Colorado, a moviegoer apparently (and understandably) didn’t like t the latest
Batman movie. He took out his frustration by firing indiscriminately on
innocent, defenseless moviegoers. No member of any political party would
disagree that anyone who cannot wait until he gets to the firing range to take
out his anger should not be trusted with a weapon. More than a decade earlier,
in Columbine, Colorado,
a disturbed student took similar action against his colleagues and teachers.
(To clarify, the fact that both of these incidents happened in a state with
some of the most relaxed gun laws in the country is a coincidence.) The only way to balance the dangers of guns
placed in the wrong hands with every American’s constitutional right to bear
arms, is more guns. The great Mao Zedong
once said, “War can only be abolished through war, and in order to get rid of
the gun, it is necessary to take up the gun.” This wisdom can and should be
applied throughout our society.
Since everyone
unquestionably should have access to firearms, it is imperative that we protect
our citizens. In anticipation of these terrible attacks, we must make sure that
all the “good guys” have guns as well. I propose that every government and
state worker be required to carry a firearm.
If every teacher at Sandy Hook
elementary school carried a 9mm Glock or at
least a Walther-Style .32 Caliber handgun, I’m sure the students would have
been much safer. Think about it: who wouldn’t trust a teacher, in a room full
of toddlers, with the same type of pistol that militaries around the world use?
And it’s not like the gun would ever be used in the wrong ways. After all,
teachers are always sane, responsible,
and cool-headed. I for one have never
seen a teacher lose their temper, act inappropriately, or get angry at a
student for no reason. If we can’t trust our teachers, whom can we trust? And
even if the weapons fall into the hands of the children themselves, we have no
reason to fear: one of the founding fathers of modern psychology, Erik Erikson,
would agree that children can tell right from wrong by the age of 5 or 6.
Therefore, if the classroom firearms do fall into the children’s’ hands during
an emergency, we can trust that they will be used responsibly. After all, when Katie cuts the snack line,
she’s asking for it.
The classroom is a
special case, but the mandate should extend to all government workers. When a garbage truck rolls by in the early
in the morning, citizens should be sure that if a gunman appears, sanitation
workers will be able to draw their pieces and subdue the threat. In the future,
all a citizen would have to do when violence breaks out is locate the nearest
garbage truck. What could be more comforting? Furthermore, Policemen and
soldiers already carry weapons. Why not extend those privileges (and
responsibilities) to crossing guards? Who better to help our children cross the
street than Mr. Colt himself?
Additionally, it
should be required that all business owners have at least one firearm on the
premise, for the defense of the citizens nearby. How many deaths would have
been prevented at the theater in Aurora,
had the bouncers been armed? Even though the perpetrator only began the attack
once he was inside the theater, the lights were dark, and all the cinema staff
was gone, no one would argue that having a trusty Remington 12-Gauge under the
ticket counter wouldn’t have helped the situation. And again, we need not worry
about the guns themselves being misused or falling into the wrong hands. Movie
theaters in particular are known for their tight security. Kids can barely make
it into an R-rated movie these days.
Some left wing
nuts, in an attempt to sway public opinion surrounding how effective this
proposal would be, may claim that training all these personnel in the use of
firearms would be too costly and troublesome. Fear not: since in most cases, no
formal training is required for the purchase of a gun, it wouldn’t take much to
prepare our new sentinels to counter the average gunman. Spending an hour
playing Call of Duty ought to be enough.
“A
polite society is an armed society”(Heinlein).
In order to reconcile the
unalienable right to bear arms with the dangers of guns falling into the wrong
hands we must arm those we can trust. By putting a trusty pistol in the hands
of every shopkeeper, traffic guard, utility worker and English teacher, we can
prevent the next Sandy Hook. It’s time to
fight fire with firearms.
Bibliography
Erikson,
Erik. Identity, Youth, and Crisis. 1. New York: Norton, 1968. Print.
Heinlein,
Robert. Beyond This Horizon. New
York: Fantasy Press, 1942. Print.
